VARIOUS

1. A disgruntled Iraqi journalist had an extremely frank and informal exchange of views with our President today. Lofting his shoes at the head of our commander in chief, he was heard to say, "It is a goodbye kiss, you dog." Arabs have a sort of shoe fetish so this is no small insult. What drives Arabs to smacking people over the head with the soles of their sandals? Does this go back to their ancient gesture of submission whereby the foot of their kings rested on their heads? And why don't they like dogs? Let's let no more of them in our country until they call a truce on dogs. Anglo/Saxon, Europeans love dogs . Followers of The Prophet prefer cats. That alone speaks volumes.

Someone needs to explain to the Arab media that the culturally correct way to show disagreement with our President is to moon him.

2. An immediate solution to the auto-industry is obvious. First, allow the big three to go bankrupt. Then, before their assets can be sold, declare war on South Korea. As the property of our new enemy, those Sunbelt Kia and Hundei factories with their non-union workforces can be seized and reorganized as American companies. This is what we did with Bayer and other German assets during WWI. We then allow the new American Kia to buy up GM's Chrysler's and Ford's assets. And better yet, after we declare peace with our Korean friends, we can offer them the old Rustbelt factories as compensation.

I mean as a Banana Republic we need to learn how real Banana Republics do these things. Paraguay obtained its navy in a similar way. They invited a flotilla of Benito Mussolini's fleet to a port visit, only to declare war while the crews were on shore being wined and dined. Presto, instant fleet! This is how our fellow bankrupt and corrupt countries rise to the occasion. Surely we can do as well.