After long and deep consideration, and after careful considering all available material from both campaigns, I must reaffirm my earlier endorsement of the delectable Samantha Brown for President of these United States.
So far as I know, she has no illegal immigrant relatives living in public housing, she has never called for the creation of a paramilitary Civilian National Security Corps, and she has never promised to bankrupt the coal industry. So she is clearly superior to that half African fellow with the Muslim name, who is never the less, not a Muslim.
She has never given in to the temptation to sing about bombing another country. She is not on record advocating amnesty for the millions of illegal alien interlopers to whom we now play grudging host. And she never made a career out of screwing her fellow Republicans because she is in all probability not a Republican in the first place. That beats the crazy old pilot to my mind.
So why should she be our Commander in Chief? Because she's sweet! She travels all over the world without either going native or starting wars. She knows a thing or two about foreigners without actually being one. She can sing and dance and she is very, very charming. That's more than you can say for those two major party bozos. She seems to have an active intelligence and good old American common sense. Finally, she looks great in a bikini and that's change I can believe in.