A NEW MONTH

• A runner brings fresh news from the heart of darkest New Jersey. The Chief there, a brute named Corzine, has set is men on the legally bind mayor of a place called Bogata. Now I always thought Bogata was in South America so this whole thing may be a fable. Never the less, here is the tale the runner brought me.

It seems that the mayor of Bogata is a heratic who angered this Corzine fellow by daring to run for office and pointing out flaws in Corzine's policies. If the reports are true Corzine had the chief law enforcement officer of the tribe, witch doctor or just witch, I'm not sure, put a spell on the blind mayor for hiring people from other tribes to work for him.

Now this is the part that is difficult to understand, as this Corzine also claims to love and welcome members of other tribes. So it's hard to understand how his witch could put a spell on the little mayor for doing what Corzine's tribes says is good in the first place.

The runner brought even more troubling news. It seems that this Corzine sent his warriors to harass and detain the blind mayor. Now this part cannot be true. I learned from travelers long ago that a great tribal witch of the past had all the warriors castrated. This great witch also hired members of other tribes just like Corzine. So what warriors might these be? There again they may have been Amazons!

• Speaking of great tribal witchdoctors, Ted Kennedy was hectoring that nameless little guy from New York who serves as our Attorney General today on CSPAN. It seems that the AG is not doing enough to speed up the process of naturalizing the hordes of third world foreiners who want to vote for the Democratic party in THIS NOVEMBER"S ELECTION. Now I'm not jesting when I write this. He actually said that he is concern and upset that these non-citizens won't be naturalized in time to vote on the fate of all the rest of us in a few months time.

The claim that Democrats were naturalizing the world just to win elections during the Clinton Administration was considered too extreme to publicise at the time. Now Kennedy proclaims this tactic openly in a Senate hearing. This is so disgusting it could be happening in New Jersey.

• And finally, we may all reflect on the nature of Islamic chivilry. It seems that the warriors of the religion of peace are tricking female retardates into volunteering as human torpedoes. The unwitting retarded women were sent off to visit pet centers with bombs in their backpacks.
  

Why pet centers? What great Satan lurks among the puppys and parrots? People capable of doing this are simply evil, even by the standards of their own idiotic faith. And yet we are admitting Muslims in among all those potential D

emocrats Sen Kennedy wants hurried through our gates.

I suggest we pasturize before we naturalize.